Sunday, January 23, 2011

Convo with Pastor - Genesis 27:41

Esau hated Jacob because
he had stolen his blessing,
and he said to himself,
"My father will soon be dead and gone.
Then I will kill Jacob."
Genesis 27:41
 
Hatred.
 
        Bitterness.
 
                Unforgiveness.
 
And blame. Blame! Esau blamed everything on Jacob.
 
Jacob was indeed a schemer. And Jacob did indeed trick his father and did outright rob Esau of his birthright. But ... we must not forget that Esau played his own role in losing this gift. He sold his own birthright for a bowl of stew.
 
How often is that true of us? Others may indeed lie and trick and steal, but how often have we played a role in our own downfalls?
 
When we lie to ourselves and play the total victim, hatred, bitterness, and unforgiveness grow in our hearts ... maybe even murder (even if it's only a desire to assassinate the other person's character through gossip).
 
Who's on your hit list? Who might you need to forgive ... in order to set yourself free. 
 
In Christ's Love,
a guy who has no one else to blame
for his weaknesses and defeats
------------------------------------ 
I have been doing a bible study recently and the topic of forgiveness is huge.  And difficult. There are three types of forgiveness - others, self and God.  Admittedly - I have the most trouble with forgiving myself for allowing others to hurt me. And for what I have done to hurt others. 

I don't think that forgiving myself, God and others will free me from anything. Mostly because I have no idea how to forgive myself.  But this is talking about the bitterness that grows from hating others. Not being able to forgive others. I recently wrote a letter to someone who I've harbored bitterness for for the past almost 7 years.  It was a very hard letter to write and almost harder to send. It was a letter giving forgiveness to the person for an act that happened that was due to her simply being human - not viciousness. not intentionality. just an honest, horrifying mistake that completely changed my life - forever. And also asking forgiveness for the bitterness I have held.  I did not include my contact information. I don't know their reaction to the letter, but I do know it was the right thing to do.  

Has doing this set me free? No. But it has helped me to think of this person with out a tightening knot in my stomach.

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1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chris,

This is important. I'm assuming this letter was sent to a certain person I'll call C. Is this correct?

And when did you write and send this letter? There may be a spiritual connection to something here and I'm trying to make sure.

I'm thinking of you and praying for you a lot today.
Love,
EH

Jan 24, 2011, 4:04:00 PM  

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