Power?

For the past 7+ years I have worn a peapod charm on a necklace.  I have taken it off only to sleep, snuba and snorkel. Otherwise it was around my neck. Every day.

Why a peapod? When I was pregnant we called the baby Peapod ... he wasn't an 'it' and needed some sort of name.  For Christmas before Peapod was born, hubby gave me the charm. When Peapod died, we searched for a place to put his initials and birth/death date on the charm. Then for the next 7 years I wore it constantly ... told people it helped keep Peapod near my heart since he wasn't with me anymore.

After a very rough year which involved hitting rock bottom in an effort to erase the immense pain caused by overwhelming pain, it was recommended that I not wear this necklace anymore.  A few people noted that since the peapod was not around my neck, my eyes were lighter. I smiled and laughed more readily. But I wanted it back.

There were times I searched for it and didn't find it. One day I asked where it was and last week I got my necklace and peapod back. I have been wearing it for the past 5 days.

Those same folks that recommended I not wear it think it has a hold over me. A negative power ... a foothold/entrance for evil.  But my question is - can an object have that much power? An object is inanimate. And if the person holding it denies it has power and truly believes it doesn't have any power, can it still? Or is Satan still able to use it to get at your weak points?

I tried researching this and this is some of what I have found:
Totem: an object serving as the emblem of a family or clan and often as a reminder of its ancestry; a usually carved or painted representation of such an object, one that serves as an emblem or revered symbol, a natural object or an animate being, as an animal or bird,assumed as the emblem of a clan, family, or group, an object or natural phenomenon with which a family considers itself closely related, a representation of such an object serving as the distinctive mark of the clan or group, anything serving as a distinctive, often venerated, emblem or symbol.

Quotes:

1.  "Satan does not even control inanimate objects as far as being able to use objects to violate the Law of God ... In his debased heart he devised a plan to deceive the children of men and pervert everything God had made, in order to fulfill his ambitious goals of becoming ‘like God’, he copied and perverted all that God had created ... The Bible does give us a strict code of cleanliness and warns us of certain objects of power we should steer clear of (these are called cursed things in the Old Testament!) many are inanimate objects, bracelets, symbols, idols of wood and stone, and even furnishings. ... Many Christians unknowingly have these familiar or dedicated items in their possession, the bible tells us: 1 Corinthians 10:21, You cannot drink the Lord’s cup and the demon’s cup. You cannot partake of the Lord’s Table and the demon’s table.

In Acts 19:11-12, God did extraordinary miracles through Paul, so that even handkerchiefs and aprons that had touched him were taken to the sick, and their illnesses were cured and the evil spirits left them. God himself seems to endow inanimate objects with power. Could Satan do the same? Could he attach evil spirits or evil intent to a [peapod charm?], object or symbol and cause an open door to his sick twisted spiritual realm? I [the author] not only think it likely it is most probable. Remember the Ark of the Covenant was just a piece of wooden furniture, but it held the very power and glory of God!

2. This:  Satan wants to be like God, he wants to exalt himself above God, so he has to counterfeit and imitate his precepts and behaviors and his methods of accepted worship. he is a copycat.

3. This:  In Eden the tree was this object. We must understand there is always an object that Satan uses to make his attack. In the Garden of Eden, it was a tree. Today, it might be our pride. It could be some object that he has fastened upon our minds, so we will justify doing evil. Satan's principle is that the end justifies the means. This is a common trick of Satan today. ... Satan's second manner of approach is a negative one. He uses reverse psychology. He is tremendously cunning. Watch what Satan did. He said, "Yea, hath God said." Satan called God's Word into question. He quoted the Word of God. This is what we have to beware of. He engaged his victim in a dialogue wherein a suspicion could be cast against God's Word, goodness, character and integrity. Satan wants to get us to murmur and pity ourselves. He wants to get us off guard. How does he do this? He gets us into a dialogue. He gets our heart to use human reasoning. Immediately upon gaining control of the human reasoning through dialogue with his victim, Satan zeros in on his target. When Eve answered that they could eat of all the trees of the garden except one, then the devil suddenly zeroed in on just that one tree. Why? She was the one who raised the issue about the single tree. Satan started in a very general way. This is what we have to see. ..."

Basically - I am still not certain.  The ones who don't want me wearing the peapod anymore also suggested having some sort of memorial service or burial. My reaction whenever I consider that is, "I can't."  More accurately - it's, "I don't want to."  

It's been 8 weeks since I was in the hospital. since I have felt the heaviness that I am feeling tonight. No - the despair is not there ... don't worry!  But there is a heaviness of spirit weighing down on me. I don't know where it is coming from. I really don't want to believe it is from the necklace so innocently hanging around my neck.  

Even in church this morning, I had to make myself sing the worship songs, pray the prayers, participate in the liturgy.  There was a quiet voice saying I didn't need to go through these motions. It was not a calming, peaceful thought. The harder I fought against it, the louder and more insistent it became. I have rarely heard this convincing voice in the past 8 weeks ... and rarer still in church even before ... 

Is there a connection? Or am I just allowing myself to believe there is one? 

However, I do know that I can do anything through Christ who gives me strength! Even fight back against lies in the midst of a worship service. 

[sorry this is so long ... I've only been working on it for the past 4 hours.]