Held by Jesus

I toggle between the local NPR station and the local Christian radio station on the radio in my car. Today was a music day. I have been very reflective and somewhat melancholy lately. It is the time of year - I know...

A few songs came on today on my 20 minutes drive home that almost drove me to tears, but I didn't want daycare to know I had been crying. I don't want anyone to know when I have been crying.

One of the songs to day was "Held" by Natalie Grant. It starts out telling about a mother grieving the loss of her child. Asking why. This part really grabs me and I sometimes sing it as a cry to God, sometimes as a huge thank you to Him.

[Bridge]
If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our savior
[Chorus]
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held

Another song I frequently have running around in my head when I am in these funks is "Hold Me Jesus" by Rich Mullins. I always sing this as a cry and plea to God. Usually this is when I do NOT feel Jesus holding me. And I am scared, alone, 'shaking like a leaf'.

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

they don't play nearly enough of Rich's music anymore...may be time to dust off the cd's.
Pray for peace - not for nations. for hearts. the rest will follow.