Know God - day 18

2 Samuel 11 and 12, Psalm 51 (including the small print heading)

(good grief! I am not motivated!!  I have done about 4 other things while trying to start this tonight. may have something to do with the subject matter in 2 sam 12...)

What does God say?   well...scripture says (and that is God breathed, right??) that David was walking along and saw a beautiful woman bathing. Instead of minding his own business. He inquired about her.  Hmm...

What is God saying to us?  Pastor explains that the first glance is accidental "woops. don't look over there. don't look over there. just keep walking." the second glance is lust "just a peek. just window shopping. that's ok, right?" the third step is more intetional - when David sent someone to inquire.  Uh Oh.  Any wrong desire follows this pattern.  What do we turn back to intentionally in our lives that we shouldn't?  There is so much.  One of mine would be greed/coveting.  I know I don't need x, but I really want x. I know I don't need it. but I want it. eventually I talk myself into it. convince myself that in reality I do need it - not just want it.  It's a vicious cycle - one I perpetuate like the silly human I am.

David acts on his lust. Now he has Bathsheba's husband killed!  And thinks no one knows... until Nathan appears on the scene to tell him a little story.  The story outrages David, until Nathan reveals it is about him.  Oops...

How often have we done something and thought we got away with it? Or watched our children do something they think they will never get caught for?  We all act at times as if we are invisible. as if God or anyone else can not see us. doesn't even exist.  Oh, but he IS watching. He DOES know what is going on. and he wants you to be accountable for your actions.  Pastor writes, "Sin lives and breeds in darkness. Accountability draws our vulnerability into the light and God's light is healing.  Therefore, who might you trust enough to confidentially share your struggles with?"

well... this blog is a pretty open forum for sharing my struggles. or at least certain ones.  i am by no means baring all to the blogosphere.  nope. as for a face to face tangible person. no one here. yet. a few others scattered around the world but how often do you want to share struggles with on the phone or via email with no real physical/personal connection?

Psalm is not God speaking directly to us, but a whisper of his voice through David's prayer.  6"[God] desires truth in the inward being ... 16[and he] take[s] no delight in burnt offerings ... 17 the sacrifice acceptable to God is ... a broken and contrite heart."

God is telling us that he simply (ha!) wants our hearts.  truth in our innermost being. honesty with ourselves and him.  what's the true truth in your life? lay it out to God and "watch your relationship with him begin to grow."

God, here it is... all poorly written, not capitalized, misspelled words...all of this is for you. To get to Know you. To be honest with myself. To be transparent so others can see you through me.  in me. around me.  So others hopefully won't feel so lonely on the journey.  I am still discovering, searching for - the true truth.