Other's perceptions do not equal not my reality

• Your faith pours out of your words as posted on your blog, and that’s an inspiration to me.
• Your depth of faith is an encouragement to us all.
• It has also been a blessing to have you join us on Friday mornings for the Beth Moore [Believing God] study. Your insight has knocked me off my feet and helped me understand more than I would have.

 These were comments made to me in emails this week. And so not what I see.  The comments were made in reference to my 'family' blog (linked up top).  I am so weak.  I am trying to be faithful. To be obedient.  I am not holding myself up. I am being held up by God's grace alone.  I do not deserve it and the thought of his love baffles me.  I do not deserve it.  Who does?

I am stubbornly learning the difference between knowing and believing.  I like to learn. I like to get a topic and research it and really understand it.  As I study the bible, I am finding that the more I research a topic, the less I am actually understanding it.  Like they say, "Ignorance is bliss."  But I am still digging.  Insights during the Beth Moore study are coming more from an academic/head viewpoint than one of faith.  There is plenty that I know in my head. That I know is true.  But my heart just doesn't grasp it.  or accept it. and I don't know how to bridge that gap.

So you see, their perception of me is one of a mirage.  Their perception of my 'depth of faith' is not reality at all.  But mirage's are true for the person looking at them...