Coffeehouse Comfort Zone

Hello. My name is Chris and I am an introvert.  I scored as far as possible on the introvert scale on the Myers Briggs once.  (a 1?)  blogging and emailing are so much easier. I don't have to see expressions - or worse - have someone see mine.  It is easier.

So I am making a strong effort - especially in this trying season - to step OUT of my comfort zone.  To push through my introvertedness.  To reach out to others so I am not so painfully alone on my journey.  I need support - especially right now.  My dear friends from a distance try - but sometimes you need to feel skin.

I reached out to 2 ladies from church - ladies I had never formally met. ladies I had heard tremendous things about.  so I sent an email. amazing thing about email - once you hit send. it's gone. done. can't undo it. I was wishing for that unsend email button.  (once upon a time. couldn't you delete an email before someone read it?)  then I started on the self bashing.  How could you do that? they aren't going to respond. everyone is too busy and they have no idea who you are.  you're setting yourself up again to be disappointed.

and I was wrong.

We met on Saturday morning at 9am (if you know me, what am I usually doing at 9am on Saturday???) I even showered and wore presentable clothes to meet them.  I was trying. I was the first one there. got a hot cocoa and slice of lemon pound cake.  and was convincing myself that they weren't going to show up.  i had left my phone at home. maybe they called and cancelled.  everyone is so busy. and this just slipped their minds.

and I was wrong. again.

The 3 of us visited for almost 3 hours.  We talked about lots of stuff. we laughed. we didn't cry. (I will NOT cry in public! [insert foot stomp])and I relished just being with other women. other christian women.  we didn't pray overtly. but I am sure there were silent prayers being lifted.  mine alternated between, 'please don't let me cry' and 'wow. thank you for having them really show up.'  

Will we do this again? I don't know.  We are all so busy.  They are well established here with friends, family, activities, etc.  But it was a nice reprieve.

and it showed me that I am stronger than I think I am.  only by the grace of God.